The Holy Crusade of Jesus and Potter Against the Menace of Voldemort
by Krill T'su Warmonger
Summary: How He Came to Defeat the Dark Lord with Christ's Help Being a Normal Magic High School Student Who Cannot Even Sense in the Slightest That the Universe Is at Risk of Destruction, and Suppresses a Vague Worry That Tomorrow the Sun May Not Rise from the Same Direction or at the Same Speed or Even Shine at the Same Luminescence and Follow the Same Orbit. Harry/Jesus No Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** This story doesn't contain any kind of wild smut and definitely **not **slash/yaoi. That aside I hope you all enjoy the story.

**Prologue**

This is a tale that wizards have passed down through uncounted generations...

It tells of a war of unmatched scale and ferocity, the likes of which would never be seen again.

One dark, fateful day, a dark wizard with the blackest of soul rose to power.

He mounted a brutal assault upon the Magical Britain, driving the land into deep despair...

He burnt forests to ash, choked the lands sweet springs, and murdered without hesitation.

He did all this in his lust to take what he deemed the ultimate goal in his mad conquest for power, Immortality.

The lengths he would go for it were boundless. If he maimed his soul, so be it.

Such was the hold of immortality on his life...

One faithful day a prophecy was made, plans were laid and the course of the war decided.

In his arrogance he stroked down what he considered the greatest threat for his reign of terror.

Needless to say, it backfires. The boy lived. The Boy-Who-Lived.

At last, peace was restored to the country.

This is a tale that wizards have told for many ages, generation to generation...

But there are other legends, long hidden away from memory, that are intertwined with this tale.

Now, a new legend bound to this great story stands ready to be revealed.

**A/N**: Prologue based slightly on TloZ: SS


	2. The Savior from Another Dimension

_Enter the world of Harry Potter, where a demented and sociopath Voldemort wages war against freedom and whatnot. Everything rest in the shoulders of young Harry to discover the power the Dark Lord knows not, little he knows it is very far from what everyone would think. Will be compliant with DH and so far no pairings, definitely no slash, because I just don't dig it. Nonwaisayin"? For those wondering, yes. Jesus will be here and play a prominent role, just don't expect him to be what you would think._

**A/N:** This story doesn't contain any kind of wild smut and definitely **not **slash/yaoi. That aside I hope you all enjoy the story.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Jesus or Harry Potter, that is because owning real people is illegal in some countries.

**Prologue**

This is a tale that wizards have passed down through uncounted generations...

It tells of a war of unmatched scale and ferocity, the likes of which would never be seen again.

One dark, fateful day, a dark wizard with the blackest of soul rose to power.

He mounted a brutal assault upon the Magical Britain, driving the land into deep despair...

He burnt forests to ash, choked the lands sweet springs, and murdered without hesitation.

He did all this in his lust to take what he deemed the ultimate goal in his mad conquest for power, Immortality.

The lengths he would go for it were boundless. If he maimed his soul, so be it.

Such was the hold of immortality on his life...

One faithful day a prophecy was made, plans were laid and the course of the war decided.

In his arrogance he stroked down what he considered the greatest threat for his reign of terror.

Needless to say, it backfires. The boy lived. The Boy-Who-Lived.

At last, peace was restored to the country.

This is a tale that wizards have told for many ages, generation to generation...

But there are other legends, long hidden away from memory, that are intertwined with this tale.

Now, a new legend bound to this great story stands ready to be revealed.

**A/N**: Prologue based slightly on TloZ: SS


	3. The Choosen One and the Messiah

**Chapter 2: The Chosen One and the Messiah **

Harry Potter slowly made his way downstairs careful so he didn't wake up the dimwitted inhabitants of the house. He didn't even knew why he took his wand down if he was barely 16 and thus could not do magic. But what the hell, if it was a thug or something he knew he could pretend it was a knife in the dark.

Worst came to worst he had been reading Bruce Lee's Jeet Kune Do that Hermione had send him. He was not in the garden.

"Who is there?" whispered Harry. "I got a knife and I swear I will bloody skin you, believe I once cut a kid just to take his snickers!" No he didn't.

He heard a groan coming from the bushes, so he carefully crawled there remembering his Ninja training that Naruto from next street gave him and poked the bush with his wand.

He felt something soft move and being the crazy Gryffindor he was Harry jumped to the bush.

What he found was a man, not more that 30 with a rather impressive beard, tanned skin like bread that was left just enough in the oven to be soft inside and crispy outside. The man in question was wearing strange clothing.

Deciding it couldn't be a hobo because they weren't any in these Suburbs and because the man had certain aura to him, Harry lifted him in one arm and trekked his was into the window (by climbing the wall)

Hedwig which was still hunting wouldn't like this. But screw the bird he was Harry Potter, and for some reason he felt that if she were to die he would forget in around 2 days (or one chapter).

Frowning he hoped that didn't mean he was getting callous, after all it only took him around 3 months get over Sirius's death. He always wondered why people though he would be that devasted by his death. He had barely known the man and while amicable it wasn't like they were BFF.

Snapping out of his reverie Harry laid the stranger in the floor and waited. 10 seconds later and deciding he had waited enough he started to tickle and poke the man.

Jesus awoke with a jump and started to talk at miles per hour.

"Where I am? Where is Judas? I will flail him alive! Why my head hurts? Who is that boy with the device in his head? Is this another ploy of my father?"

Of course Harry didn't get shit mainly because he didn't speak Aramaic, not that he even knew how the language was called so it's irrelevant so he was content with staring.

Jesus felt that the stare he boy way giving him was gazing deep into his soul; he lost focus midway of all the things in the room and could only focus in those deep pools of emerald.

Suddenly the world went black.

"Great! Now what?" said Jesus.

"Oh! So you can actually talk besides that weird mumbling you were doing" said a voice behind him.

Turning around Jesus could see the boy, but he was not like he remembered this one was giant yet not at the same time and exuded an aura of power.

"What kind of sorcery is this!?"Yelled Jesus, while taking a typical drunk boxing stance.

Harry looked around and considered his surroundings, this was if his memory of the books he managed to steal from the prohibited section of the library a deep recess in his mind, how he accessed it he didn't know. After all he sucked at Occlumancy. Still deep in thought he didn't notice the man sprinting forward.

Harry felt immense pressure in his skull and was catapulted backwards by a punch Jesus connected. Before he could make up his surroundings and make the world stop spinning he felt a kick crack his ribs and embed themselves in his lungs, gasping for breath he remembered he didn't need any here after all this was him mind.

_Neo I believe_, though Harry.

Jesus gasped his enemy who he keep pummeling was recovering almost as fast as he could inflict damage, deciding he had to end this quickly he gathered his energy in the palms of his hand a send a blue wave of power towards the teen.

Harry saw the attack coming and braced himself; everything was possible here after all. Taking a stance he had seen in ancient manuscripts in his dream where Voldemort burned book he deemed useless and took the most obscure magical ones he launched his fist upwards in a uppercut and a blast of fire erupted from it.

So intense was the fire that in deflected the wave of power he man had thrown and him. Happy that he had finally gotten some respite he proceeded to plant his right foot firmly in what he could call ground, he then did a summersault and a huge boulder came out of the black pristine floor, with a quick twist his left foot made contact with the rock and send it hurling towards Jesus.

The aforementioned Messiah's eye widened in surprise and thus he was a second too late to react, the boulder smashed with his body sending him skyward. Harry decided to go all out on him and summoned a huge stream of water moving his hands and arms like a schizophrenic octopus he willed the water to encase he man still in the air and slam him against an invisible wall.

Again and again the stream of water took the man by the ankle and slammed him in the wall. Finally he threw him up again and Harry jumped after him.

Coming face to face with the boy Jesus's ache full body was blasted by a high velocity current of air against the floor.

_"_Enough!" said the Messiah.

Harry was beyond words, even in the mindscape how could someone withstand so much punishment was beyond him. It certainly made him feel begrudging respect for his foe, respect that turned to awe and fear in second as the man's eyes started to glow.

Calling forth the power of his father and his own Jesus's power levels rose to sky he could see everything as if slow motion and in the blink of an eye he was beside the boy, then behind then when he turned he teleported behind again and smashed his hands in the teen's skull.

Harry grunted and everything went dark. He should had used magic was his last thoughts.

**A/N: **the plot thickens!


End file.
